Sexual Attitudes in Spain

On the face of it, Spain - especially the Costas, Ibiza and Barcelona – seems a pretty progressive country with liberated views about sex and marriage. This is one of the few countries in the world where homosexuals may get married – and it’s called marriage in Spain, not a civil union – and adopt children. The Spanish don’t get upset about politicians’ extramarital affairs – they might be mentioned in the press, but although the Spanish like to know all the lurid details, they’re not scandalised by an affair and a politician wouldn’t have to resign over stains on a ball gown or paying for sex. And practically all the national newspapers publish explicit adults adverts everyday – even the more serious ones such as El País and ABC.

Sex scenes on TV are common even during the afternoon when children are watching. So on the surface, Spain seems pretty liberated.  Surprisingly enough it is, although it depends on the area and the generation. In rural areas and provincial towns, sexual attitudes are very straight lace – unmarried couples don’t usually live together and coming out of the closet as a homosexual would be social suicide. In some families, civil marriages are frowned on as ‘loose’ or ‘too progressive’. So you get a mixture of liberated and straight views – sometimes within the same person. A bit contradictory really.

I sometimes think it must be hard to be a Spanish man – the responsibility for being the macho guy is huge. Spanish males have two stereotypes to thank for this: first of all, there’s the Don Juan character whose main aim in life is to seduce women and then abandon them; and then there’s the Latin Lover – this is the one that thousands of women have had a holiday romance with. He’s typically a waiter, dark and smooth talking, and of course, totally irresistible. Added to this is the traditional male role of patriarch and provider for the family.

Very much so, but less in younger generations influenced by the changes in society, but I think it would still be true to say that many Spanish men are still Don Juans or Latin Lovers underneath their modern exterior.  How do Spanish men look on foreign men? As a threat, especially if they’re Italian. Spanish women on the other hand see foreign guys as a breath of fresh air and expect them to be firm believers in equality for women. These expectations, however, aren’t always fulfilled.

Now lets take a look at the Spanish woman. Traditionally, she’s a homemaker and perfect wife for her Latin Lover, but few women follow this nowadays and most Spanish females believe in equality, but although they might belive it, it’s still a long way off. A recent survey found that a massive 70 per cent of men do nothing at all round the house and it’s often the case that a woman gets paid less for doing the same job as a man. And then there are also the really negative sides of inequality: domestic violence and sexual discrimination at work which are two pretty big problems.  For example, lots of women lose their jobs when they become pregnant. Foreign women were traditionally seen as loose and manhunters. This is a leftover from the tourist heyday in the 60s and 70s when Spanish beaches were invaded by thousands of gorgeous blond Scandinavians in tiny bikinis. There’s not much of this view left now, but blonde foreigners still get more than their fair share of unwanted attention and older Spanish men still think foreign girls are only after one thing. If you have a Spanish boyfriend, his mother might disapprove of you before she’s even met you – more traditional Spanish women automatically think British, American and Scandinavians girls are all little short of prostitutes so you may find your relationship with your boyfriend’s family starts off the wrong foot just because of your nationality.

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