Meeting people in Spain

When I first came to Spain, I put my foot in it several times and used the wrong one, but there are some rules and the good news is that they aren’t that difficult to follow. Lets take the informal tú, first. This is used when talking to friends and people you know, am I right?  Yes, more or less. Basically it’s for friends, people your own age or younger than you and you’d always use it when talking to children.

But if you’re in a formal situation, say at a business meeting, wait to see what the othe person calls you before launching into your friendly tú – if you’re seen as getting too friendly, you might not get the business. It’s also best not to use tú when you’re at the bank or trying to get some paperwork done.

So this is when we’d use usted? Yes, because usted shows a sign of respect – a bank manager who feels respected might be more inclined to give you a loan or the civil servant might be keener to stamp your papers if you’ve shown a bit of deference.  And outside this sort of situation? Use usted when talking to people obviously older than you – neighbours, shop keepers and, of course, future in-laws – showing respect is mega important here.

One thing that lots of foreigners notice when they come to Spain is how much Spaniards like to use their hands when they talk. And the funny thing is that after you’ve been here for a while, you start to do it as well. Tell us a little bit about body language.  Spaniards are very expressive and use their hands, arms and even their bodies when talking – it all adds to the effect and makes it much more exciting. One thing that really annoys Brits (who like to keep a nice safe distance from everyone) is that Spaniards like to get very close to the person they’re next to. So you get people breathing down your neck in the queue at the supermarket, on the beach someone always puts their towel down right next to yours and if there’s a crowd expect to be elbowed on all sides as people push through. Don’t be offended by this – there’s no offence meant – and the best thing to do is to take a discreet step backwards, but don’t be surprised to find that the other person also takes a discreet step forward...And apart from wildly waving their arms around, there must be some gestures that actually mean something? Yes, of course. Apart from the universal thumbs up and down, and spot on (circle gesture), there are also some uniquely Spanish ones:
– if you rub your finger and thumb together, it shows someone is very rich or something’s expensive.
– if you run your index and middle fingers down your nose, it shows you’re broke
– holding both hands upwards and opening and shutting your fingers shows somewhere is crowded.
– lightly slapping your cheek with one hand shows someone has a cheek.

Well, there’s the insulting middle finger of course, but in a foreign country it’s best not to imitate rude gestures because you never know what you’re letting yourself in for.
 
If a Spaniard puts two fingers up in a V sign, he isn’t insulting you, it just means two so don’t take offence.

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